Deep Thought: Relationships I

As to be expected in an autobiography I write about experiences in my life. One experience i seem to constantly be in a struggle for, and against, is relationships. Not specifically romantic, but relations with others in general. But I'll be talking with romantics here, and why it seems that I can't stay with any. Note: This Thought will be very opinionated, at least more so than my others and I will say some things that you may or may not agree with. I'm basing my judgment on personal experiences and based on similarities of situations I and making broad speculations on things. Sue me. I've noticed that men and women get into relationships for many reasons. Need for a companion, natural progression of a friendship, hell some people just do it for the sex. but I feel like for a relationship to work hat has to be some sort of similar reason for dating, logically speaking. But as most anyone can tell you love is far from rational. Many a time you can see opposites attract better than those who are alike. But to know why we want to date we have to know what we want, at least in a partner. But does anyone really know? Can you really know a person and just tell that they are all you want in life partner wise? Do you know there is none better and that you two will be the picture perfect and live happily til death to you part?Or are you not in it for the long haul and just need something small to get you by? And how do you know if the other isn't looking for the opposite. I see three main categories, I'll just call them 1, 2 and 3. 1 would be the quick fling, just someone to date just because you can. Not necessarily a big deal but you at least like the person. 2 would be the middle ground, looking for a fling that could maybe turn into something. Either or you're just fine. 3 would be the looking for wife/husband. Obviously you could ask, but that would imply that the other knows what they want, and is willing to tell you. Not saying that things can't change, but initially I'd imagine friction. Speaking from my own perspective I want something that can grow. Start small with chance for improvement, a 2. Now you would think I could look for either a 1 or 3 and be satisfied, but then I'd only be getting half of either relationship. So look for a 2 you say? Now the theories begin.

Now mind you i can only talk about what I know and if you get offended or feel the need to correct me, yell at me etc. then by all means let it be known. Everyone knows the quote "Nice guys finish last." I think the only place that quote applies is in love. Y'see I'm what you would probably call a romantic. I open doors, pull out chairs, meet the parents all that stuff. I like to think I'm easy to talk to, I try to make people laugh and I listen. A Nice Guy. But I've only had 3 relationships and struggle to find any at all. The 3 I've had I lost the girl to the "badass". What I always wondered was if girls want the "Smart, Sensitive, Funny Guy" and I thought I was that then why would they leave for the "badass", then it hit me. One of us didn't know what we wanted, most of the time them. Maybe due to age or whatever circumstances the girls I dated didn't know what they wanted til they couldn't get it anymore. The "badass" is a general term i apply to the guy who is "Tall, Dark and Handsome and more." The "And More" is the bad stuff that women hate men for, cheating, no good all that jazz. Not saying all men don't do it but I put the common offenders in the "Badass" category. It's the guy that girls go crazy for. But it's rarely what they need. "Badasses" are almost always 1s. They are out to sleep with anything and everything as much as possible. Now then as I said I had 3 relationships. Within I'd say about 3 months of each occasion the girls would have redated and tried to come back after realizing what they wanted. I don't too my own horn too often but on those days I really let em have it, mostly because I got the same reason for the breakup. "You're too nice, I feel like you're a brother to me." All 3 times. They'd leave me, get fucked over by another guy then try to come back, in which case I'd just laugh in there face. I sound cruel but internally I was slowly dying. My heart was broken every breakup, not because of the breakup but because of the guys they went to. But why did they go to them, I always and will always wonder. Until now. I realized that the girls I dated were getting too "attached". I was changing their numbers. They were slowly becoming 3s and they nor I knew it. Each one later has said that if they hadn't broken up we would still have been together to this day, and they'd probably have proposed to ME. Which led me to think, is it possible to change numbers while in a relationship, and what are the consequences? Well for one it throws the dynamic of the relationship off. If you get into a relationship and one person progresses faster, the changing member doesn't know whether to slow down or try to speed the other up. What do you do when you are on a faster mindset than your significant other? I think that's a case where the progresser has to re-evaluate the reason the two of them are dating and tell their other where they think it will go. The communication involved should solve any doubts for the best, whether it be a mutual change in mindset or an easy break up. If this had happened with any of my previous girlfriends I believe that their claims may be true. I'll leave you one a somewhat positive note, and a question. I am still single as of writing this but I'm not as shook up about it as I used to be. My question is this. What do you do when you like someone but don't think they like you? It has something to do with Part II. Sorta kinda.